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Days Thirteen/Fourteen – “It’s like smokin’ a f*ckin’ Glade Plug-In.”

Day Twelve – “Campari goes well with eggs.”

Day Eleven – “I do enjoy Mark Ruffalo.”

Day Ten – “This can opener got me through the Kennedy Assassination.”

Day Nine – “I could make a Shepherd’s pie out of a turkey neck and Cool Whip.”

Day Eight – “Do yourself a favor. Punch them in the throat.”

Day Seven – “Technically, the squirrel never actually caught fire.”

Day Six – “Remember that bad Panang Curry we had in Yonkers?

Day Five – “It’s a brave, new world. Cope.”

Day Four – “I think some sh*t is up.”

Day Three – “What am I, a Shih Tzu.”

Day Two – “I can’t go back to Stop ‘n Shop since the incident.”

Day One – “It’s been difficult.”